Wednesday, July 27, 2011

self esteem

It's a weird thing. I've always lacked in this department. that was until the beginning of the summer, when things changed. All of the sudden I finally felt like I had a reason to be around. Like I had a reason to wake up. But just like every good thing it seems that this good thing was not meant to last.

Lately I've struggled with my self image again. Things have gotten weird in my life, I'm not sure where I stand anywhere I go anymore. At work I feel I don't know my job, and in my social life things are more confusing then they ever have been. I just wish I had some answers. I just want the facts as to why things have changed so much so fast. It seems that July 20th was the day things went crazy, everything was normal till the day after my birthday and then BAM life sucker punched me, and left me in a dizzying haze wondering what happened. Sadly I can't get out of the haze now, it seems to be everywhere. I am not depressed, just confused and unsure about what is going on.

I don't know if any of you know this but I love music, there is always a song that can describe how I feel, or there is a song that can help me through any time in life. These days it seems to be a hymn. "Lead Kindly Light" it's awesome, I really wish it would lead me so I could figure out the encircling gloom that seems all over in todays world, My world.

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