loosing control

Have you ever felt like you've lost control of everything in your life? Like you can't do anything you want to do? well that's how I feel, and it's exhausting, and I don't like it, and yeah.

My life feels like it's just going like a downward spiral these days.

Do I need to wake up tomorrow? Really?

(p.s. for those of you who might be freaking out, I would never take my own life)

sugarland something more (lyrics in description)

this is how i'm feeling these days.

I am liking this song a lot right now

click here to listen to the song

I don't fit

Today was the infamous dancesport championships at BYU, for those of you who don't know I participated in competitive ballroom dance from grade until I left on my mission. That was a long time and a big chunk of my life. I went with my good friend lance, he was on the high school team with me so we have seen our share 4th of competitions. When we got there we sat with lance's buddies on the UVU ballroom team (he still dances with UVU) he did his best to help me fit in, but let's face it, i'm not at practice with these people every day like he is, i'm not always in the hallways at the school to see them so I didn't really fit in with any of them. I saw Trevor and Alissa, they are good friends but they are married so they aren't really "friends" anymore, they are more like grown up associations. I started thinking about it more and more and I just don't fit anywhere. I had to quit dance because I am to big. I had to quit swimming because I'm to slow, and there aren't any waterpolo teams for me to play on, so that is out of the picture as well. I go to school and I don't know anyone, and no one really cares that I'm there, and then I go to work where I kind of have friends but I'm still the new kid so I don't feel like a part of the group there. So where does that land me most nights? At home, on my couch, watching t.v. and looking at Facebook. In fact, if I were to describe to you my life it would be in three words, Home, School, and Work. I wish I could say I had friends, or I had a social life, but I would be lying to you if I did. Like I said, I just don't fit anywhere anymore. That's why I miss high school, was it a pain sometimes? Yes but at least I had people that cared about me, people I cared about, people who I knew, things to look forward to, and teams to participate on.

Oh what I wouldn't give to just fit in somewhere again.

Theme songs

if my life had a sound track this would be the opening credits, and this would be another frequent song. Enjoy them, they're great, and they describe my dreams, and wishes pretty well.

Cool poem

. . . Some Lines Scrawled on the Door of Vagabond's House . . .

West of the sunset stands my house,

There . . and east of the dawn;

North to the Arctic runs my yard;

South to the Pole, my lawn;

Seven seas are to sail my ships

To the ends of the earth . . . beyond;

Drifter's gold is for me to spend -

For I am a vagabond.

Fabulous cities are mine to loot;

Queens of the earth to wed;

Fruits of the world are mine to eat;

The couch of a king, my bed;

All that I see is mine to keep;

Foolish the fancy seems,

But I am rich with the wealth of Sight,

The coin of the realm of dreams . . .

-Don Blanding

JUST SAYIN

i've got a friend

Her name is the miss
I have been down lately and a little shaky in the way i feel about things i have lived my whole life. The miss knew that, and has helped me out, she makes me realize how awesome things are, and how important the little things are in my life, like the sky, in her words, it's jesus' finger painting canvas. She is positive, and that is a good thing to be in the world today. So thank you Miss for being such a good friend and caring about how an old fart like me is doing. I appreciate it, you are the best!

up to date

which is what this blog will now be.

Well some new stuff is goin down. I work at the American Fork Fittness Center, that's right the AFFC, before ya'll start calling me a traiter don't worry, my heart will always be with the Pleasant Grove memorial swimming pool!!! I like it at AF though, it's pretty chill, and the people there are pretty nice now that we know one another.

I have decided i want to join the Master's swim league for reals, I love swimming, it is really the only place where i feel peace, and quiet. it's also the only place where my insane mind slows down for a minute and just relaxes.

School is going pretty well, i was asked to meet with my advisement counselor for my major, and it was pretty tight because he helped me choose which emphasis i should follow. Unfortunately for me, the one that i realized i must choose involves a crazier class load, because it is more business oriented.

Do i miss Faculty support? not one single microscopic bit i just thought i would throw that out there while it is on my mind, you see, faculty support was my old job. I miss the people, correction, i miss Carrie and Meredith, the rest of the cool people left a while ago.

Best friends right now, in no particular order:

the miss

jameson

lance

yep these people are pretty awesome, if you don't know them maybe you should get to know them because for the most part, they are pretty good friends to have.

I miss my sister Amy, she is in hawaii, and that is ok minus the fact that she was my catylist for a social life, without her around i pretty much don't have one. I like my job now so it's not as big a deal as it was once upon a time, but i would still dig meeting some people once in a while.

No chacos!!! are you serious?? do you not realize that they enhance life, and performance? they would never restrict performance or hinder progress!! (inside feelings)

Well world this is the newest splatter of my thoughts.

life is a highway

Things are going pretty well, i don't have a lot to say but i figure i should still get around to writing once in a while.

This last weekend lance, jameson, and i went to my cabin, it was a blast. we went up ate some cheese doodles, had brautwurst, and potatoes for dinner; became inspired by watching august rush and then went to bed after our caffeine high diminished a little bit. in the morning we had a very cholesterol free breakfast of eggs, bacon, and hash browns. upon finishing it came time to leave, so we drove home and finished up our epic trip.

The cougars won!! i went to the game! 7th row, it was awesome, i even lost my voice because i was yelling so much. They looked great, they looked like the old team was back or at least they looked much better than before.

My swim class, it's a light in the dark tunnel of college, i LOVE it.

ski season is coming, there is snow on the top of timp sometimes, i'm so so so so so so happy about that.

it's funny because people tend to bug me about dating, and i tend to make it seem like i don't want to. but in reality i just don't know anyone at all that i would ask on a date, like literally, i don't know anyone. but that subject is probably for a different post some later day.

I hope this week is good, all the high schoolers get fall break, i don't, i get to go to class :(

The 2nd worst day of my life, 2nd only to the day my mission came to an end

The title says it all, today is the worst. I am miserable inside. Why? you ask, well let me tell you. I got my soul back today, and quite frankly i don't want it, i want the pg pool to continue with it's control of my life. I had to turn in my keys upon leaving work today. I'm not an emotional person, but with the way i was feeling as i walked away i realized that if i was emotional i would probably have been bawling.

To some of you this might seem rather drastic, and over dramatic. But i truly do love that place, i feel like the largest, and most influential part of my life is gone and i don't really know what to do with the void. I guess i do start work at the AF pool soon, so hopefully that helps but The pg pool is the best. I know i say that i look forward to winter so i can ski, but i think that i would give up the snow, and i would give up the skiing if it could be summer all the time, and i could make a good living.

Here are some of my favorite memories of the pool this year:

-Kirsten, "joe, fix me"

-Kirsten, "joe, can you fix me again"

-Finger mustaches

-checkers (it's coming back)

-mandi creepin on dustin

-is the slide ever going to get fixed?

-swim lessons

-THE GAMES!!

-the fixing of every mechanical part of the pool.

-Where's a hammer?

-Sidney, asking if i think it's a good idea if she guards on pain meds because she skined her fingers

-mullets

-Does a wild bear crap in the woods?

-having friends for the first time since the mish.

-"Joe!!! i see lightning!!"

-whistle

-whistle, whistle

-wwwwhhhhhhiiiiisssstlllleee, splash

- mandi's almost seizure because she thought she was getting shadow dropped.

-king carter

-Trevor

-living at the pool

-finding the boozin pit.

-there are many more, i just can't think of them now.

i love you pg pool, i can't wait till next year (only 209 days)

not much goin on

Well i was informed by the miss that i need to blog today, so i figure i will do so (seeing how she is my friend and she tends to have good ideas)

School, I hate it, that's all there is to it. How is it going by so fast? all of the sudden i have 2 mid terms and i don't feel like i've even been going to class long enough to learn enough material for even a half of an exam. Physical Science, yep i did it i put off taking it until the last day. You know, the day when you have to pay $5 just to take the test (stupid communistic testing center). It's tomorrow, and i still feel like i don't know a whole lot about any of the information. But i've done some reading and i know what's in the book so hopefully i do well.

My 2.5 hour monday night class, I couldn't handle it tonight, i wasn't feeling to well. I probably could have hacked it, and by probably, i mean i totally could have. But i just wasn't feelin it tonight. I found a really nice suit at the mall it's kinda a light tan, i liked it a lot. My brother got a suit for a dance, if i remember correctly high school dances were kinda lame. the day date was fun, but the dance, meh we could do without those.

I find it ironic, i did ballroom competitively for 8 years, and i hate dancing, how does that work? i dunno.

What's up with the weather these days, i mean come on. it's supposed to be fall, not freakin july. 90 degrees in september, that's a load of crap.

Also i found my dream ski's for 300 that's half off, but then again a season pass is 400, i don't know which thing i want. Oh the dilemas that happen for a 22 year old ski bum with no future.

Do you think i could possibly ever be ready for marriage, i don't, i mean come on look at the thought directly above this one. i am not ready to have children haha.

Also another important decision must be made, this weekend there is a mission reunion, but jameson and i also talked about camping. I love camping a lot. and i don't like church meetings but i would love to see some old friends. it's a pretty rough choice, luckily i have a few days.

Well those are the thoughts in my head, all at once, right now. welcome to my life haha

Boozin Pit, School, and other fun things

So.... things are looking better since that last post, and that's good because that last post was pretty emo.

School, it's school. what more can i say? i had my first for real assignment, i had to write a 5 page paper. I've known about it for weeks so when do you think that i began this wonderful paper? if you are guessing 10 hours before the midnight due time then ding ding ding we have a winner. I don't think it turned out to bad, but i think i could probably do better in the future. Which is why i got a filing cabinet and a white board. I'm taking over my time and getting some more control of my life!!

On Friday Jameson, Skylar and i went up to the boozin pit for a little overnight camping trip. It was pretty tight, we

heard elk, broke an axe, and ate some

big wieners covered in

J-dawgs sauce!!

also, smores with reeces

instead of normal chocolate are

delicious, thank you Jameson for introducing this new wonder into my life. Also the new mummy bag i got for my birthday, well i got to try it out and on it's maiden voyage i fell in

love. i slept in my hammock inside my 20 degree bag and i slept like a little baby. I have never slept so good camping in my life.

When we woke up there were some gnarly sunrises to be seen, i will share them with you, just remember that this is Jesus' artwork, we should all be appreciative and grateful to him for the wonderful state of Utah and it's beautiful mountains.

Maybe someday you all can come camping with us, at the boozin pit, it's pretty much the happiest place on earth, and yes i mean that it is even better than Disneyland and Cabela's.

i've had it, i'm done, i'm throwing in the towel

What is wrong with life? I mean..... i knew that there would be trials back when i signed up for this life long boot camp, but come on, what ever happened to 2 nephi 2:25? what ever happened to those blessings that supposedly come to those who serve missions? it's just one of those days i guess, i'm kinda sick of it all. I am tired of a school where no one cares about my existence, i'm tired of a hypocritical family that seems to think i need to change and that i'm just not good enough, i'm tired of friends who are on the same boat as my family and seem to think i'm their project, and mostly i'm just sick of of it all. I just need to get that out there. i used to be happy, and satisfied with my life, it's while i was on my mission, those were the days. No one told me that it was going to be a freefall down hill from there. No one told me that that was the summit. Sure there are little up turns on the slide down but overall it's seems to be a downward spiral.

not everyone is a trouble i've got 2 good friends, thank you jameson and the miss, you guys are awesome, you seem to slow down the fall for a little while, when we hang out.

well, i guess i'll sleep on it, and begin one more "wonderful" day tomorrow

it's been a while

Things are interesting, remember how i was super excited to be swim coach? Well......... i had to quit, i didn't really have a choice, i have school, work, and i wanted to keep a very good friend of mine. (even if this friend does make fun of my t.v. choices) I'm kinda bummed, i absolutely love swimming, and i love helping, but quite frankly the team was a joke, there was no control there, and the exercises were absurd, i don't think we ever even swam anything but freestyle. Oh well, hopefully some day i will be able to be a coach somewhere.

I have an obsession, I want to get in shape, and i can't think of much else. Even when i am in class, at work, reading, watching t.v., or pretty much anything i am constantly thinking of my dilemma. Some people would say that i don't have a dilemma but i do, it might be in my head but i still think it's fixable. to bad i'm not motivated enough, and i don't have anyone to help motivate me to do anything about it.

I have a new guilty pleasure, it's a t.v. show, i'm trying to finish season 1 before season 2 begins on Tuesday.

I was driving today by the walkers on state street and i saw like a thousand American flags, and it hit me, I love america, i'm truly devoted to our fine country. It's to bad that some things happen that shouldn't, but overall i would have to say that this is a pretty good place. In fact, i would say that this is the best place.

How come every time i get something good in my life it seems to be stripped away, or someone tries to strip it away? I mean, i've got some really good friends, and for some reason nobody wants us to be friends, or for us to even hang out with each other. Well it kinda sucks, i wish something could just be simple in my life. Like my sister, she is going to hawaii tomorrow (we'll miss her) but she found out today that she got a 600 dollar scholarship that she didn't even apply for, and that's not even the beginning, she gets some pretty good crap. Can i please get a break?

physical science tomorrow (can we just be upset?) i really don't want to go!! it is incredibly boring and i learned most of this stuff in 10th grade, oh well a good review never hurt anyone.

oh well, these are just some things on my mind right now

Fun Day

Today was pretty darn good, in fact this week has been pretty darn good. My major, yeah it's awesome, i'm taking quite a few classes and i'm pretty sure i'm not gonna have a ton of homework this semester.

I'm swim coach! i help kids swim, and i make new friends, (to bad they're in highschool) my friend the miss is the manager, she thinks i'm in a bad mood when i'm there, but i'm not, i just take swimming seriously.

today i was going to go camping, curtis had to bail, so now i'm not camping. I'm sitting at home watching reruns on tv and typing on my blog. instead of going camping i went to cal ranch, to bad it closed 5 minutes before my arrival, so instead i went to the pool and got hot chocolate on my way for curtis, the miss, and i. It was awesome, i just sat at the pool and talked with the amigos, and then the miss punched me, yes flat out sucker punched me in the face. it was fun, i love the pool, and i love my good friends, and i'm gaining a new found love for seatbelts (not really but i'm trying to do better at wearing mine)

oh and just so i don't forget

-2 pool hoodies

-2 pool sweat pants

-1 water aerobics c.d.

-1 box of spoons

-1 lawn chair

-1 vhs copy of the Jazz Singer

(i just can't forget these things, don't ask why)

Awesome

Yesterday was UFC 118 it was pretty darn amazing, we went and watched at a "sports grill" it's one of my favorites, their food is amazing. Ok not amazing, but I do like it a whole lot, it's probably a good thing that UFC fights aren't often, because if I ate the food there more, I would probably be fatter than I already am. The night was pretty awesome, much like the fights, except the fact that on the way home I was almost destroyed by a drunk driver. Things were good after that until we dropped Daryk off, and then we almost hit a drunk girl that thought she would enjoy staggering out into the middle of the road where my car was driving, luckily I have amazing reflexes and I was able to stop before splattering her on the hood of my car.

Today, church, another Awesome, I decided to go to church with my good friend Ben he's a good guy, and we are pretty good friends. Sacrament meeting was pretty good, a little boring but not to bad. Announcements were made after the meeting, where it was announced that we would be eating right then! Ben and I looked at ourselves and thought either this is the definition of apostasy or we have gone to the wrong church and found the Baptist church of Lindon. But turns out that's just how this ward rolls, we got some muffins, bagels and some fruit and we were set for the next hour and a half of learning about marriage and how we are supposed to do it.

Is it just me or do I seem to young for marriage, there is no way I could handle making that kind of commitment. Not to mention, who would marry me? I'm a mess! I think to much, I overanalyze, I'm a walking psychological issue that seems to have no cure. Oh yeah, lest we forget, my soul is sold to the Pleasant Grove pool and for some reason others don't understand my love for that place (my wedding reception will be there, cross your fingers). Oh well, maybe someday I will grow out of that and that will be the day that I might be ready for marriage, but until then, can we please hold the talks on marriage and dating and courting, it's kinda freaking me out A LOT! Don't get me wrong I would love to have a best friend of the female type, and maybe after a little dating I would be ready, but yeah, let's stop freaking me out please.

The in between

I don't like this, not one bit! I feel like it's still summer, and for me it is still summer, i get to sleep in, i get to work at the pool, i get to party when i want, and i don't have to do homework. BUT.... all of my friends are in school, they don't get to do all the fun things, so i get stuck at home taking worthless naps and watching worthless t.v. which is melting my mind into a worthless pile of pudding!

School is overrated, ok that's a lie, but it is really inconvenient! i kinda just wish that my friends could go to my school, or i could go to theirs so that we could party all the time, but alas my fate lies at Brigham Young University where i am destined to fail and be a minimal statistic on the campus of thousands, to bad i don't have friends there. Maybe that will be my goal! i will try to make one friend in each class (i've set goals like this in the past and they never work but this time will be different) ok yeah it probably won't but i'll give it a try.

So friends, who don't go to my school, don't forget me!!! I'm not one of the lame BYU students that thinks they're to good for everyone else, i want to still be friends, so please stick around!!

been a while

It's been a long time since i last wrote, ok not that long but still i haven't really written in a few days. Some fun things have happened!

Sunday=Awesome, we went to lances homecoming, he was the last speaker after 3 young women's leaders that were released the day before. As you can guess he wasn't given that much time to speak at all. But he did a stellar job *props to lance. After his homecoming talk we (mandi and i) went to jameson's house, it was fun! we played checkers, and tic tac toe, and chess (kinda) haha and we looked at the bunnies and the cows, their names are beef and steak! (mmmmm i love steak). When lances church was over we had a luncheon at his house, it was yummy, and fun! Then i got to relax, until 9:00 then lance came up and we watched forever strong! I want to play rugby, it would be fun, and hey let's face it i'm beautiful enough (inside joke) to play rugby! Oh and then guess what!! it was revealed to me that i was going to jail!! yep Prison, it'll be awesome since it's for sure happening, (hahahaha yeah right) maybe while i'm there i can shave my head and be completely bald, and i'm a big guy so i'll fit right in HAHA (inside joke again)

Today: well i got to do maintenance this morning, it was fun minus the fact that last night the wind pushed all the pool covers into one giant ball for us to untangle and fix! Oh and yeah pool vacuum systems aren't light weight, and i wouldn't recommend lifting them with your back, otherwise you could be icing your back like me!!! Today was monday, monday is 75 cent grilled cheese day at Sammy's which may be one of my new favorite places on earth! while we were there i got to meet sammy, yep THE sammy, he wanted to be friends on facebook and i was like yeah! for sure! i don't think you'll send me to prison, so why not!? haha

Work: it was awesome, super chill, and it wasn't hot outside either! and then we did a record time closing and putting covers on! not to mention, the guards working today were some of my favorite!! it was definitely the A team tonight!!

Cereal, The Breakfast of Champions

I love Cereal, it is pretty much one of my favorite food groups! Yes, i said food groups, because i feel it falls into it's own category of greatness!!!

Some of my favorites include: (but are not limited to)

Cheerios (no sugar)

Corn Flakes (no sugar)

Rice Crispys (no sugar)

Frosted Flakes

Frosted Flakes Gold

Crunchy raisin bran

Wheaties

Wheaties Fuel

Life

Lucky Charms (i wish they could make them without the mallows)

Fruity Pebbles

Cap'n Crunch with crunch berries

Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Cookie Crisp

Honey Comb

Apple Jacks

Coco Puffs

I'm pretty sure i could eat cereal all day, for any meal, at any time, anywhere

I love the rain!

Today was awesome! private lesson in the morning was great, and then i came home and went to the AFFC with amy, we lifted weights and swam a pretty good work out! I love working out, it's like a drug, it makes you feel good and it's addictive!

I was dreading going to work, not because i hate work but because sometimes i don't like the responsibility that is there. I got to work and there was rain and thunder and lighting! We waited for an hour but guess what!? we got to close!! so i had the evening free. Miss Mandi, Cree and I went to cabelas to get my money back for the overpayment on the fishing pole i bought yesterday. We had a good time there, we sat in the recliners (which are mossy oak break up pattern) It was awesome, and then the mean speaker voice said we had to leave because it was 9:00, but it's ok because we had been there for a long time and we had already seen everything we wanted to see. I decided Cabela's is like disney land, except better because you don't have to pay to go in, and everything isn't way way way overpriced. I LOVE CABELAS

I had some great ideas at cabelas, like the fact that i want to decorate my room in mossy oak break up! it would be awesome, no one would be able to find my room because it would be camoflaujed haha

Sometims the world just needs more finger mustaches

Lance is home, and it's decided; I HATE growing up

it's true, he is, i saw him with my own two eyes. He's back, it's weird because i'm now bigger than him and it is just different from when we were friends before. He is still in weird missionary mode, and i wouldn't be surprised if he thinks i'm a total apostate sinner. (he would probably be right).

We talked tonight and kinda hung out, there wasn't much to do but we got to talk. Our talking made me think, i don't know why but i'm not that excited for the future, i don't really know how i feel about this whole, "be a grown up" thing. I wish it could just stay june-august 2010 forever, i love my life right now! i'm happy, but i can feel the darkness and loneliness of fall creeping into my thoughts. it would be so nice if i could stay at the pool, a place where people are friends, where i feel comfortable being me, and a place where people seem to care that i exist. I feel like the pool is my never never land, it is an oasis where i don't have to grow up, and where i can do whatever i want and have fun whenever i want. So i guess i'll go to bed and tomorrow i'll take the second street to the left and straight on till morning (or at least the p.g. pool) my own never never land will be there at least till september.

(sorry to you few who read this, i know this is a little emo'ish)

So it's midnight

I think this is when i do my most important thinking! i'm sitting here watching ski movies on youtube and on the t.v. and i've come to a conclusion! I will begin NOW to diet and work out so that i can be in the best shape possible for ski season this year! i don't want my fat out of shape self to get in the way of me throwing myself off of cliffs, and going down runs that are way out of my league! i want to have my common sense be the only thing stopping me!

So yeah kinda random, but it's INSPIRATION

fun things and snow dreams

Yay!! i finally got to see trevor today, he got married in january. We used to be best friends, we did everything together all through high-school and even into our first year of college. However, since his marriage he seems to have disappeared from the planet earth! He called me up the other day and asked if i wanted to go golfing with him today, and so i said "meh, why not" i hadn't golfed since 2 weeks after my mission so i was a little nervous but i did alright i think... I was happy and i had fun, that's all that really matters (and i got to see trevor for the 3rd time since his wedding).

I was blessed with the opportunity of working 5-8 today, and it was a good time, we only had 7 lifeguards scheduled when we need a minimum of 8 (thanks verdon haha) we eventually got things figured out and the day went off without a single problem. It was water zumba tonight, i don't know if you've ever seen that but i would highly recommend you do, it's rather.....ummm.....how do i put it.......AWESOME! it's hilarious, props to those who do it but it's kinda funny looking to those who watch.

There was a party tonight but it was the head front desk ladies party so i didn't have to stick around I took off and went to visit lance's parents who are stoked that he is coming back, i am too, but nervous too. I went back to find out that the party was the party from he!! (sorry i abandoned you mandi, mckay, and kirsten I love you guys) but i went back to do covers and heard all the adventurous tales of terror. It got me kinda nervous for the lone peak party on the 25th i hear that that one is TERRIBLE! they have to bring their own police officers!!

I wonder who grows up and thinks, hey i think i'll be a cop for moronic high-school trouble makers?

Now i'm sitting here watching a ski movie, pathetic i know, it's only august and i'm already dreaming of this season and all it will bring, hopefully much snow, many good times, a season pass, and much progression in my skills and enjoyment of the sport! I LOVE SKIING! i wish it could be summer down here but

perfect powder days in the mountains ALL THE TIME.

If anyone wants to give me 500 dollars to buy my dream fatty ski set up i wouldn't mind.....

Well tomorrow i have to get up at 5:30, i don't know how i feel about that........ ok yeah i do know exactly how i feel about it, IT SUCKS!!

I love the cabin

Last night i got to drive up to my families cabin! i love it up there it is probably my favorite place in the whole world (at least for now) but really, it is so awesome up there. i chopped down 2 trees with an axe! (none of that wussy chain saw crap) in the process i skinned the top of my big toe with the axe, and i pulled down 1 tree and found out it was connected to 2 others as they came crashing down on top of me haha no worries I'm still alive! Unfortunately all good things must come to an end and i had to drive down tonight so that i can go back to a private lesson/head guarding tomorrow.

While i was up there i decided something, i really wish i was a cowboy, it would be awesome! I think i was born in the wrong decade and wrong lifestyle! Live out on the range, ride around whenever and wherever, live out of your saddle, hunt what you see, sleep where you want, and do whatever you want! I think it sounds like the life. I also kinda wish i was a farmer, or at least grew up on the farm, both of those lifestyles intrigue me I want to do hard work but the type of freedom associated with those two lifestyles seems amazing so yeah, i wish i were a cowboy and if anyone knows how i can do that, please let me know!

the best party of the summer!!

So today at work was awesome, first off we had a good day at public swim, spencer had a sick save!! (Go Spencer) at 8:15 the party began, it was a ward so i was expecting just a normal every day ward party, but no this was to be much much more!! around 9:15 the rest of the ward takes off, leaving just one family, and this family was going to get every minute out of the 2 hours that they could, and i mean every minute, even though the weren't in the pool they insisted that they sit in lawn chairs until exactly 10:15 on the dot!! it was awesome. oh did i forget to say that miss mandi and hayden and i made pb&j's for dinner? with fruit preserves of the home made brand! it was awesome, such a good day!! now i get to go to my families cabin to enjoy the rest of the weekend!! YAY

first things first

Hey, look at this i started a blog. I did this a while ago and somebody made fun of me, well forget them! the way i see it this is just a journal (which the prophet has asked us to keep) but on the computer (which is better because you can type and you don't have to find a pen or pencil) But anyways, i am starting this blog because my friend miss mandi said it would be a good idea.

So let's start with what's on my mind; Summer is almost over :( I love the summer time, i love working at the pg pool, in fact yesterday i was supposed to get off at 5 but i sat around and talked with katie till 10 just because i love the pool and i don't have anything better to do, that brings up the next subject on my mind. Matt left on his mission on wednesday, it's kinda sad but really happy at the same time. I know from my own mission that he is going to have a blast and he'll probably love it, however that doesn't make it any less sucky for me! We were good friends and now he is gone, it kinda stinks. But once again him leaving leads to another thing to think about. Lance gets home on Tuesday!!! holy crap! i can't believe he's coming home. to be completely honest I'm kinda nervous, what if he's changed, what if i changed, what if we don't get along anymore? i hope we do, before his mission we were really good friends, and by that i mean, we were practically brothers! we lived at each others homes and lived with each others families (speaking of which i have to return the axe i borrowed from his parents 3 weeks ago oops) anyways, i'm nervous about how things will turn out. I hope they will be like they used to, i don't have to many friends these days and one more would be tremendous!! While on the subject of friends it has come to my attention that i hang out with people that are younger than me (not in a pedophilic way) and not even really outside of work, but for a while i was kinda embarrassed about it, however now I'm thinking "what does it matter to everyone else? as long as I'm having fun that's what's important to me!!"

Anyways those are just some of the things on my mind today